I STAND AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

If I had not held his hands back, I would have received the biggest slap of my life for refusing a proposal. Each time I remember that scenario I'm always thankful for not accepting that proposal. Don't sit in a relationship that you know is toxic to/for you, because you are trying to look like ''the bigger person''. You are not doing yourself any favor, you are just validating abuse.

Domestic Violence is a very sensitive issue that must not be overlooked or swept under the carpet. Its one I will never take with levity. It's saddening that it still very rampant these days. Are people so angry with life that they decide to unleash their anger on the people they claim to love or what exactly is the problem? I tell people''if your partner is not raising his/her hands on you in love my dear just dialogue with your feet and leave''. Its not worth it, unless of course you want to die there.

Domestic violence (also called intimate partner violence (IPV), domestic abuse or relationship abuse) is a pattern of behaviors used by one partner to maintain power and control over another partner in an intimate relationship.

Domestic violence does not discriminate. Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender can be a victim – or perpetrator – of domestic violence. It can happen to people who are married, living together or who are dating. It affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.

Domestic violence includes behaviors that physically harm, arouse fear, prevent a partner from doing what they wish or force them to behave in ways they do not want. It includes the use of physical and sexual violence, threats and intimidation, emotional abuse and economic deprivation. Many of these different forms of domestic violence/abuse can be occurring at any one time within the same intimate relationship.

Many times people keep putting up with individuals who drain them because they are family or because they have known them for a long time. You don't keep tolerating bad behavior from others because you don't want to appear hard. Protect your peace. There is nothing more peaceful than doing away with relationships that drain you physically, emotionally, psychologically and mentally. Remove yourself from the circle of ungrateful people. Let them be! Sometimes, people don't learn to respect you until you are no longer around them,you will keep getting disrespected. I don't think that's what you want for yourself. Do the needful. Protect yourself. Protect your space. Protect your peace.

Rihanna a popular Barbadian singer, songwriter and actress recently accused Snapchat of promoting domestic violence through advertisement. The ad,for a game called ''Would You Rather'' featured photos of the Rihanna and then-boyfriend Chris Brown asking users if they would rather ''slap Rihanna or punch Chris Brown. Though the ad has been taken down, its good knowing that domestic violence is seen as a serious matter over the world and should not be use to crack jokes let alone ads.

“Domestic violence exists in every facet of society, rich or poor, across ethnic and racial lines, across heterosexual and LGBT communities, young and old. It’s often swept under the rug and something that is a family’s dirty secret and isn’t brought out. It’s just so important that victims know what their resources are and that people support their local domestic violence organizations because this is an issue that affects all of us.” —Jennifer Friedman 

I personally don't believe that people change. But growth is possible. Yet, some people will NOT grow, no matter how much time passes. And they won't realize because they are happy to sit in their mess. Some people will do shit, cause offence, then say it was your responsibility to avoid offence. I don't know when such madness became OK.Your own mental health is and will always be more important than stuff that amounts to eye service. Some doors need to remain closed. Not because you hate anyone, because let's face it- some folks are not worth the energy you need to muster, to hate; but because you do need to put YOU first.

According to the Domestic Violence Prevention centre, most women will, on average, attempt to leave an abusive relationship between five and seven times before successfully and permanently doing so.


More than one-third of women and one in 12 men have experienced intimate partner violence in their lifetime , according to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey. Anyone would agree that’s too many. If you’re asking yourself what you can do to help, read on. Below, 10 steps you can take to help stop domestic violence in your community.

1. Know the signs. Domestic violence can happen to anyone—white, black, young, old, rich, poor, educated, not educated. Sometimes violence begins early on in a relationship and other times it takes months or even years to appear. But there generally are some warning signs. Be wary of the following red flags an abuser may exhibit at any point in a relationship:

Being jealous of your friends or time spent away from your partner
Discouraging you from spending time away from your partner
Embarrassing or shaming you
Controlling all financial decisions
Making you feel guilty for all the problems in the relationship
Preventing you from working
Intentionally damaging your property
Threatening violence against you, your pets or someone you love to gain compliance
Pressuring you to have sex when you don’t want to
Intimidating you physically, especially with weapons

2. Don’t ignore it. Police officers hear the same thing from witnesses again and again—I heard/saw/perceived domestic violence but didn’t want to get involved. If you hear your neighbors engaged in a violent situation, call the police. It could save a life.

3. Lend an ear. If someone ever confides in you they are experiencing domestic violence, listen without judgment. Believe what they are telling you and ask how you can help, or see this list of 25 ways to help a survivor.

4. Be available. If someone you know is thinking about leaving or is in fear the violence will escalate, be ready to help. Keep your phone with you and the ringer on, make sure you have gas in your car and discuss an escape plan or meeting place ahead of time.

5. Know the number to a nearby shelter. You never know who might need refuge in a hurry. Keep numbers to shelters.

6. Check in regularly. If a loved one or friend is in danger, reach out regularly to ensure his or her safety.

7. Be a resource. Someone experiencing violence may not be able to research shelters, escape plans or set up necessities like bank accounts and cell phones while living with his or her abuser. Offer to do the legwork to help ease stress and keep things confidential. Here’s a list of items a survivor may need to take with them.

8. Write it down. Document every incident you witness and include the date, time, location, injuries and circumstances. This information could be very useful in later police reports and court cases, both criminal and civil.

9. Get the word out. Assist a local shelter or domestic violence organization in their efforts to raise awareness in your community. Or use your personal connections to start a grassroots campaign. Organize talks at your workplace wellness fair and church groups.


10. Put your money where your mouth is. Use your power as a consumer and refuse to support theculture perpetuated in music, movies, television, games and the media that glorifies violence, particularly against women.

There are government and non-governmental organisations dedicated to tackling cases of domestic violence. We can never know how many abuse cases there are when they frequently go unreported. It is our duty to help our neighbors find the courage to seek help and report abuse. It is never OK to hurt another individual, nor is it OK to allow an abuser to go free. Children are our future, and we must protect them from being exposed to violent behavior, and the only way to do this is by reporting domestic violence. Below are contact of people you can talk to for help.

1. Project Alert
Website: http:/www.projectalertnig.org
Address: 21, Akinsanya Street Off Isheri Road, Taiwo Bus stop( behind FRSC) Ojodu-Berger P.O.Box 15456, Ikeja Lagos, Nigeria
Telephone: 234-1-8209387; 08052004698, 08180091072
E-mail; projectalert@projectalertnig.org, info@projectalertnig.org

2. Website:http://www.dsvrtlagos.org
  Email address: info@dsvrtlagos.org
Hotlines: 08056268573, 07080601080, 08085754226,07032165181, 08137960048.
Where to report: Police Station with special family units
Adeniji Adele: 08104982245
Isokoko; 08081774694
Ilupeju;08033137432
Panti; 08074408863
Office of the Public Defender;07080601080
Ministry of Women and Poverty Alleviation;08085754226
Ministry of Justice;07038379705


Learn to stick up for yourself and don’t let yourself fall under the control of a partner. Also, don’t take the signs of abuse lightly, and don’t brush off your partner’s behavior. Just because your partner is not hitting you does not mean you’re not being hurt.


If you feel unhappy in your relationship and feel that you’re not being treated as you know you deserve, seek help and do everything you can to get out of it. You deserve to be cherished as the person you are.


I VICTORIA OYEDEPO, STRONGLY KICK AGAINST DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. What about you? Join me, spread the words not act of domestic violence.  Save a life today!