CULTURE - BY ADE ASH

There clearly is a difference between the way the topicality of chastity is perceived in different cultures of the world. Narrowing it down to Africa, we would see that the perception Africans have towards chastity is quite more encompassing compared to other races of the world. We Africans believe that it is appropriate a young girl keeps herself till the day she gets married and when this

belief is contradicted or gone against, a kind of stigmatization sets in, the victim of circumstance is made to feel like the worst person in the world and so therefore is regarded a lost soul. Do not get me wrong I totally support the cultural ethics on chastity and the need to keep one's virginity until marriage but in a case were this 'golden rule' is broken, is it proper to make a mockery of such an individual where many go as far as treating defaulters like animals.

I want to paint you a scenario I witnessed at a traditional wedding ceremony I attended some months back. At the wedding, when it was time for the bride to come out and identify her husband, the officiator of the program kept praising this lady for the fact she had kept her self until that day she got wedded. The face on the father of the bride told it all. The old man was happy, his daughter had made him a proud father in the society. On the other hand, he has another daughter who had a child and she wasn't married yet. She was seen as not good enough and then the officiator will go ahead to add pepper to the injury by preaching a message I know hurt that girl because she in her own case had failed her father while her sister made him proud. Her life can never be the same because they made her feel worse.

From that scenario you'll agree with me the importance African's place on chastity. The flaw with us humans is that we tend to often forget nobody is above making mistakes. I totally agree with what our culture teaches us because it is our rich cultural beliefs, customs, ideas and art that stands us apart from others. We are cultured people and so therefore are immune from doing the wrong things. That notion is wrong. No one is immuned and that is where we have to correct the orientation. A case where it happens that a girl gets pregnant without having wedded does not mean she should be relegated or de-humanized. That is wrong! Norms are norms and sometimes they get broken but please understand that nobody is perfect and just because I make one mistake doesn't mean I am lesser of a human being than the others.

On a final note, I’ll like to end with a quote by Samartha Schroeder on the topic: Sex, love and culture of chastity and it goes thus: ‘Perhaps nowhere is it more fitting to say that, 'the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak' than the arena of chastity’. Knowledge of and desire of chastity is important as any other discipline for proper human development. Chastity is not a relic synonymous with religion alone: it is a virtue for all persons- religious or not, married as well as unmarried for it presupposes a value of human person that colours the entire sphere of human activity. 
That is as real as it gets. 

Let's help preach the message in a way no one has to feel bad about him/herself!!!